It was a rainy Monday morning when I received the call from my husband: "Shopify is looking for Gurus. Now."
I had been waiting for this opportunity. Several of our mutual friends work for Shopify, and I was intrigued by their passion, and perks, of the job (for instance, renting out a theatre for an early screening of Jurassic World...how I love thee). Now was my chance to apply. I was confident in my ability, that I would fit in well. But... "Do they want to know what I can do with a paperclip?" I asked warily. Yes. Yes they do.
Now, I love paperclips. I love the way they rattle in their box, the shining organizational trinkets of the office. I love the way they clasp important papers together, with a subtle sophistication that a lowly staple just can't reach. But 4 things to do with a paperclip? Many things come to mind, but what a question! Some sort of psychological tool, an office-supply-Rorschach test. So without over-thinking my answers, or telling you to fix bows on them to use as cute bookmarks, here are 4 ways I use paperclips.
1) Centipede Stunners: Take a paperclip (any size) and throw it in the path of a centipede to stun/confuse. This glittering gadget will cause the centipede to hesitate in its path of terror, allowing you to quickly grab your latest copy of Food & Drink Magazine to bash the centipede, sending him to his centipede gods. Paperclips are everywhere. Magazines, it being 2016, are not.
2) Flower-Supports: Have a droopy daisy but no florist wire? Straighten one end of your paperclip so you have a 'J' shape. Push the straight end into the middle of the flower's head, pulling it through to the other side, next to the stem, until your hooked end also pierces the middle of the flower. The curved part of the hook should sit snugly against the top of the flower. Wrap the remaining straight paperclip around the stem. Voila! Your daisy will keep its head up and alert. Plus it now has metal parts, which is pretty intense for a rather dated flower which only looks good on the set of Gilmore Girls.
3) Card Chain: Want to hang your copious amount of holiday or birthday cards at your desk, without using tape? Create a chain of paperclips, and hang across your area. Use even more paperclips to attach cards and funny things you've printed from the internet. Shamefacedly explain to your uptight office manager why you need yet another box of paperclips.
4) Art: Take a piece of paper and coloured markers. Create blocks of colour, covering the page entirely. Next, take a black crayon and scribble over your marker completely. Channel your inner highschool goth and crayon that page black. Black as night. Black as coal. Turn down the Rolling Stones, they're distracting. Now take a paperclip, and scrawl fun designs or pictures, scraping parts of the crayon away, exposing the beautiful colours underneath. This is an Art Attack.
Paperclips: simple, practical, versatile, shiny.